Apabila tahu diri bukan lagi teman berkongsi kegembiraan dan kesedihan.
Dipujuk banyak kali, tetapi hati tetap tak boleh melepaskan. Sepatutnya diri rasa bangga dan gembira, tapi yang di nampakkan hanyalah perbedaan perbedaan perbedaaan.
Sejak bila benda yang baik memberikan kesedihan yang amat?
Kenapa masih mengharapkan benda yang jelas tidak akan dapat lagi?
Bukankah diri sepatutnya menjadi lebih memahami?
Setiap kali hati pasti sedih,
Kerna tahu diri yang tidak boleh menerima. Berhenti berharap lah diri. Let it go.
I heard this song after so many years when doing yoga today.
A swissssh of homesickness over flows me.
It was a song by Yanni, my sister Kak Azreen's favorite music composer.
She used to play the whole Cd, The Best of Yanni on the radio every time she's home. My adik and I loved it! Eventually this song, One's Man Dream became our favorite. We will start dancing from corner to corner of my sisters' room as if we were ballerinas! We will flapped our arms as if it were wings, and do our own intricate ballerina's dance move. Sometimes (which is reaaaally rare), both of my older sisters will joined us.
Yes, I think it is that time again of the month. The one that makes all women act like Incredible Hulk. Very angry Incredible She-Hulk.
I was truly annoyed when I log in into my Facebook and find out no one actually add me for Intermed07 group page. By then, 72 people have already joined the group. Yes, it looks like a small matter, but when you are in a period of extra sensitive and extra emotional, HECK! Terasa wei!!
I checked when everybody was added into the group, and no surprise to find out most of them were added on the day it was created. If I didn't comment on Yon's FB status 2 days later, I doubt it anyone will inform me! Huh!
So I send a quite feisty message to the administrator. One that seriously point out if he ever forget me again in his little batch project, he'll get to see another side of Aisyah.
Uh fireeeee!
But again, people always surprise me.
He replied saying sorry and said some sweet things which automatically makes me goes "Awwwww, tak per lah" and a big smile already plastered on my face.
See, people are not that mean aisyah. Emo lagi kamu!
Still, this sentence forever hurt me deep "Tak tahu nak rasa apa aisyah. Dah biasa. "
Oh, next time if any of you feel like ending your life, go pour some boiling water on your hand first. If you can handle that, great! Go ahead and kill yourself! After all, I bet you think you deserve to go straight to heaven eh?
@#$%&!
I should put my head under a bucket of cold water. Maybe that finally, get my mind straight. Sheesh!
Guy: Alhamdulillaaaaah. Menjawab salammm, sama-sama Islam, semoga kita dapat berkat dari Ilahiii. Kamu cantik, saya ganteng mari bertemu, berkemungkinan ada jodooooohhhh!
LOL! Layaaaaaannn
Cheers! :)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
Plato
Bukak mulut tu besar-besar lagi aisyah. Cish!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The charm of adventure sweetens the sensation, the glow of pride warms it but then the throb of fear disturbs it
Charlotte Bonte, Jane Eyre Chapter III
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Funny how life works.
When you least expected, you received heart warming religion advice from someone who is not even the same religion as you are.
There is a reason why God create diversity.
Cheers! :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
You are so weak. Give up to grace. The Ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore.
But as you can see, nothing major had been done. Only added some friends in the blogs list, removed some and changed certain URLs. I didn't go all craze and make a full blog make over.
Anyway I got a pleasant surprise this morning. On the way to the kitchen, I saw this on the table,
A postcard from Petra and Lenka when they're in Kenting, Taiwan!
I thought it was really sweet of them!
Except, if only I can read their writings..... -_-"
But fret not my friends! Since I, Aisyah the perasan comel shall try to decipher the writings! After finally got a hold of 'The Lost Symbol' by Dan Brown, I, Aisyah the perasan comel is all pump up to solve any mysteries, big or small!! Wahahahahahha!
All eat and no play, makes aisyah a very chubby girl!
Oh yes I'm being a typical Malaysian here. Which is, loving Malaysian food all too much!
That greasy, spicy, all variety Malay Chinese and Indian hawker like, good Malaysian food! That's what I'm talking about. Oh and the mamak stall! Despite being known for its issue with cleanliness, still remains my favorite spot for a late night supper.
I guess this is one of those beautiful things living in a multicultural country. Also a perfect, beautiful, enjoyous example of why Allah created different race, different culture, different individual. Definitely a "like" button if there is one! Ahaks!
So, to all my dearest friends in Indonesia or in tanah air tercintan,
Happy Ramadhan! May this month brings peace to you, and may you feel closer and closer to Allah. :)
Cheers!
ps: intro sungguh tiada kaitan dengan Ramadhan yea. hehehe
Ah it's been 6 days after I came back from Taiwan. For some reason it feels as though I never left Malaysia, never been to Taiwan. Only the friendship band given by Maria and Lenka that hangs loosely on my right wrist act as a constant reminder that I've been to Taiwan. A reminder of all those great people I met, a reminder of those beautiful experiences I'm lucky to experience.
Gah! I sound very melancholic again! Aha!
Sorry guys! You know me, I have to make eeeeeverything sounds dramatic! Satu bulan je pun kat Taiwan cik kak oiii.
But yes, I do miss the Land of Formosa.
I never thought I would enjoy myself that much there. Or did I expect to have a pretty close relationship with the other student exchange or the contact people there. Oh and all those interesting weird-put me out of my comfort zone experiences! It sure did changed the way I see things as a Muslim and as a person!
But enough about Taiwan!
(because I could always go on and on, -_-")
It takes mama less than a day to ask me to do house chores went I came back! Adeiii. This is exactly one of those moments I wish I went somewhere further, say 15-16 hours flight time?
Because if I do, I can always use the excuse,
"Maaa, aisyah jet lag ni~"
Oke, I'm ranting about absolutely nothing here. haha.
So till then,
Cheers!
Aisyah's mumble: urgh, book tiket lambat. you think money grows on tree ka?
The conversation was mainly about how people have sex in the dorm. I'm not sure how we came into this topic, but apparently Tara, Jeff and Zhong have many "encounters" with these experiences.
So they were exchanging stories, like how sometimes it can be too noisy and annoying up until they have to put pillows to cover their ears, or they were accidentally in the room when the other 2 is doing their "business". And it seems that in the dorm, there are an unspoken rule about these. Examples, you have to put a tie in front of the door which supposedly indicates you're "busy", or you have to put loud songs to cover up the "other noise"
I thought it was bizzare. Because seriously, what are the chances for me to ever experience that? (unless tetiba Woan Shiang changed after going to Europe and become more "socially" active. Ahaks! Well, it could happen :P)
So through out the conversation I just kept quiet, nod when needed and laughed when I should be laughing. I guess in their eyes, I do look very innocent (well aren't I? ) But bah! It was rather a funny yet awkward experience.
Ohya, have I told you that I'm the youngest among the student exchange? Plus, the people I usually hang out are from North Americans (the Americans and Canadians) and their age is around 24-25 years old (except Zhong, he's 28). That's why sometimes I feel insecure to talk English, because hey their English is waaaay better than mine. English speaker tuh! But up until now I think I did pretty well, so pandaaaaai aisyah! Ahaks!
***
Today I went to the zoo. It was oke laa ( there's Giant Panda, but no whale shark.huh!)
The part I enjoyed the most was going to this mountain by a cable car, and had some traditional Oolong tea with handmade noodle tea oil while watching the sunsets, overlooking the Taipei City.
It was Subhanallah, amazingl!
The cultural part of me was very pleased to finally see some kind of Chinese steps to serve and drink tea. I think I was very Chinese after drinking the tea. haha! What's more, I went with only Tara and Mirka, the 2 girls I'm closed the most. So the whole evening is just lovely!
Now, another different news.
I knew through FB, that my abang poyot is admitted to the hospital. I was like, APAAAAA?!! It seems that, he is having slipped disc. I haven't call him, so I'm not sure about the details. But I really hope it is not something serious up until he has to do a surgery.
So guys, till next time Cheers!
Aisyah's mumble: cis it's not going to happen la aisyah
How time flies! I'm already in my 3rd week here in Taiwan! Cepatnyaa!
Oke, where to start?
The last post I wrote is about going to Hualien. Well, Hualien is gorgeous! We went there by train. Now I do not know about you, but this is my first time knowing such thing as standing tickets. What it means is quite simple, we don't have a seat in the train! So the whole journey, the 6 of us (well except Jerry. Luckily for him, the seat he seats doesn't seem to have an owner.cis) have to sit (or stand if we want) at the corridor between each compartment.
I must say it is quite an experience. Duduk bersila ramai-ramai dengan bagpack gemuk masing-masing. And of course, when people walk by, there will look at us. Not because we're sitting dengan muka slenge (ok, maybe ya la kot.haha), but because our group do look different from the rest. Mat salleh 5 orang tetiba ada sorang ni pakai tudung.Pelik ka?
Anyway when I'm in Hualien, there are a lot, I mean really a lot of people from different countries! From Poland, Slovakia, Slovania, Chezk, Germany, Sweeden, Norway, Canada, Spain, Turkey, USA and France.
I seriously felt out of place! I remember telling Tara in the bus, that I have never been surrounded by this much of Caucasians in one place!
But luckily for me, I have develop a good relationship with people in my university. So ada la sikap asabiyyah sikit antara kitaorang. hehe. But it is only a temporary thing because everyone is so friendly! And of course, being the only one wearing a headscarf there, I stand out the most. Glamour you! haha.
I would like to tell you guys about the places I've been, but it'll be too boring with words and no pictures (I can't upload the pictures! Naneee??!!) So maybe I'll try upload it once I come back in Malaysia. But one thing for sure, I HATE, no I WILL NOT GO cuttlefish fishing anymore!
***
Now, last weekend, we went to Tainan-the southern part of Taiwan. This time, it is a 3 days 2 nights long event.
So basically,
1. I love the temples here! It is soo beautiful! 2. I wore my baju kurung in one of my outings. Tetiba ramai nak amik gambar dengan aisyah. haha. Promote baju kurung!!! 3. Went for a Traditional Chinese Medicine Workshop. Learnt about Qi, Merideian channels and point of acupressure. Nak aisyah tekankan? negh ngeh 4. The doctor did Moxibustion and acupuncture on my body. Ouch! 5. Become more comfortable hanging out with the other student exchange from different university. They are all really nice bunch of people!
Today, one of us went back to Canada. Sedih plak.
After 2 weeks, the 7 of us do become closer. Aisehh, who's going to translate food for me? I waant Jerrry backk!! Ahaks!
So I hope you guys enjoy reading my kehapeh hapeh entry today. Have a nice day korang! Cheers! :)
But back in my school days, my adik drew more pictures than I do. She kept on drawing up until everyone knows she loves to draw. To some extent, my ma had to stop her from drawing so she can study on her exam. I on the other hand, just stop from drawing.
***
I have this very horrible-merugikan diri habit.
The more something is associated with someone, the more I do not want to be associated with that thing. Even though I like it (like drawing) I feel as if that 'thing' symbolizes that person. So I stop.
I guess this is my stupid coping mechanism to not compare myself to that person.
Bodoh kan? :(
Aisyah's mumble: hye you, can you really see right through me?
Do you know, here in Taiwan, the longer your white coat are, the higher rank you are in the hospital?
Which is kinda ironic, because back in Indonesia, when you have shorter white coat it means you are either a doktor muda or a resident. Us medical student want that short tailored white coat!! So when I'm here, my white coat actually indicates I'm in the same level as the chief of the department! haha. Jangan main-main you!
So today I met another medical student doing his elective in Taiwan. He is rather old, 28 years old Singaporean in his last year of medical school. So it was cool to know some one close to home. But I guess I do feel a bit intimidated by him. He was telling me about his research mainly about breast cancers, Tamoxifen, osteoporosis and stuff, and I was totally space out. Helo aisyah!! Wake up!!
Nevermind that.
Today's afternoon, I walked aimlessly near my place, and found a very cool park in the middle of city. I was rather impressed that it didn't look too much of a handmade park, but rather the city council tried to save the most of the natural wonders there. So there was a small river running through, and a lot of old looking trees there, which I absolutely love to walk under! I even plan to come there again bringing my drawing pad and just draw some trees! Well, it was an idea anyways :P
Now, I noticed that every corner (okay, maybe not every corner lah) of the tall concrete condominium, there will be like a sports area place. Like just now, they have basketball court, tennis and squash court. How cool is that! Mind you, I didn't cuci mata tengok cute chinese guys playing basketball, but I did cuci mata to see all kinds of dogs taking a walk in the park. It was so adorable! Some even wore like a mini baju thingie! Coooomeeeeelll.
Ohya, another comel stuff I found out today is the garbage truck!
Everytime they drive past through, you'll hear a song blaring out from it. For some reason, they have to use Fur Elise song-a classic! haha.
Tomorrow, I'll be going to Hualien, east of Taiwan. It is supposed to be fun with meeting other student exchange, going Taroko National Park, cuttlefish fishing and rafting. So do pray I come back in one piece! Ahaks!
Cheers!
Aisyah's mumble: it comes and it goes. breathe in breathe out aisyah. it is all in the mind.
Things have been fairly good. I did get a bit homesick yesterday, tapi itu pun sebab tak buat apa-apa kat hospital dan rasa out of place sikit. But then I got better when I went out with Grace, a Malaysian I met here in Taiwan.
So basically, aisyah selalu ikut this one team yang compose of
Dr Wang-chief resident Dr Hsu-resident Janet-intern
Usually bila diorang ada surgery (hari Isnin dan Khamis), aisyah akan ikut dan bila diorang ada ward check up, aisyah akan ikut pagi-pagi. Beside Janet, Dr Wang dan Dr Hsu nih tak banyak cakap. Macam serious pun ada, tapi aisyah rasa the main reason is diorang susah nak cakap English. But note this, diorang umur lebih kurang 28-35 tahun. Surgeons resident yang lain pun umur lebih kurang macam nih. For some reason aisyah rasa amaze yang diorang relatively young untuk conduct surgery yang boleh kata life threatening nih.
So surgery yang aisyah dapat tengok semalam adalah surgery nak remove bullae kat lungs dan surgery nak identify causes of tension pneumothorax to this one patient. Yang dua surgery ni best sebab aisyah ikut another team, bukan team yang aisyah patut ikut. Itupun sebab dalam team ni, ada 2 orang doktor yang friendly nak bagitau apa yang diorang tengah operate. So ada la belajar sikit-sikit dan tak blur sangat.
So sekarang kalau nak masuk OR (that's operating room for you and me) aisyah boleh masuk bila-bila masa pun. Sebab Dr Yu, another resident, kasi aisyah kad nak masuk dan kunci locker di dalam OR. Perghh masa dah biasa rountine nak masuk tu, rasa macam best jea. haha. macam zap zap zap tukar baju dan masuk kedalam floor orang-orang berpakaian hijau dan bermasker. Keren gitu!
Aisyah masih belum dapat scrub masa surgery. Aisyah pernah ada tanya satu doktor ni, tapi dia cakap kena tanya head of the thoracic department, Dr Hsu (mind you there's a lot of doctor Hsu here.haha) Gulp sekejap! Sebab doctor Hsu ni memang tip top lah! Dia dan Dr Wu, senior doctor kat situ selalu je jump from one operation another. Dan of course, diorang sangat busy nak jumpa. Tapi nanti aisyah akan cuba another technique, cuba tanya Dr Wang sendiri dan kenalah buat ala-ala comel gitu. haha.
Untuk harini, aisyah tengok another lobectomy. Tapi kat lung belah kiri. This time around everything goes smoothly, takde complication. And aisyah belajar after remove the lung lobe diorang akan remove lymph node jugak, untuk check dah metastasize ke belum. And thanks to Dr. Wang, hari ni dia orderkan vegetarian lunch book untuk aisyah. Yipeee! No pork!
Aisyah sebenarnya surprise how understanding people can be about me have to eat halal food and have to solat. Like just now, I ask one of the nurses if I can use the locker room to pray, but instead she showed me a consultation room (yang lagi besarrr) untuk solat. And then one of my roomates offered a biscuit for me, then she showed a halal sign to me. Comel kan? And all this time aisyah selalu fikir dan risau kat mana nak solat. But the I've realized, if I truly believe, Allah will always show His way to me. I guess I always give excuses instead of finding solution. Islam is suppose to be a fairly easy religion kan teman-teman? That I think is another valuable experience I've learn :)
Actually I've been going out every night, most of the time with the other exchange students. So total exhange students in Yang Ming University is 7.
We have,
1. Tara- the of so lovely Canadian 2. Maria- the tall green eyed blond Slavokian 3. Mirka-the other tall brunette Slavokian 4. Jeff- the banana Chinese American 5. Tim-the half Chinese Findlanders 6. Han Cheng- the research exchange student from Canada.
There are other exchange students in other universities in Taipei too, but I haven't met them. But this weekend there will be a united programto Hualien. So I'm looking forward to that.
Mama had been asking about how I eat here through Kak Bobby. Risau dia kat anak porumpuan dia sorang nih. So I'm supposed to post some pictures, atleast in FB, but seriously..macam malas.haha. I know I know, I should post pictures so atleast mama tak risau, insyaAllah by this week I'll try to "force" myself.
Hari ni, hari introduction ke department yang aisyah masuk. Masa apply, aisyah pilih cardiovascular surgery department, tapi yang dapat thoracic surgery department, but no complaint nevertheless sebab nanti selepas 2 minggu, aisyah akan ditukar ke department pilihan aisyah.
Kat Taiwan, bilik yang aisyah duduk ada 4 orang total, tapi divided kepada dua. Yang part dalam ada 2 budak Slovakia, Maria dan Mereka (tinggi oooh) dan yang sama dengan aisyah adalah Tara sendiri, budak Canada yang aisyah pernah bagitahu dulu. So far, takde masalah communication, maka nak bangga kejap kat diri sebab boleh spekang english dengan mat salleh. hoho. Tempat yang aisyah duduk macam dorm, so macam rasa lah skit duduk asrama macam mana :P
Untuk contact person aisyah disini, aisyah ada 2 orang. Sorang perempuan, sorang lelaki, Lynn and Harry. Diorang ni baru 19 tahun tapi mak ai, tinggi! Ish, terasa kependakan diri. cis.
Oke, cool part pasal masuk surgery department adalah dapat masuk floor operating room. Seriously tak sangka tempat tu besar! Kalau dalam tv kita nampak pasien masuk bilik operation dan tu jer la. Tapi kat General Veteran Hospital nih, macam satu floor untuk surgery jea. Siap ada tempat nak makan, nak berehat, tempat salin baju dan tempat post operative room. And all the time kena pakai mask dan complete set baju bersih.
Nah, last time aisyah pernah risau pasal pakai baju bersih lengan pendek, tapi sebenarnya tiada masalah pun. Memang complete baju bersih tu dah cukup cover badan-lengan panjang dan ada cap untuk cover rambut (aisyah still pakai small headscraf kat dalam), cuma leher jea ternampak. Bila fikir baik, macam ada hikmah gak kan Allah suruh tutup aurat nih.
So basically, doktor-doktor kat sana baik. And apparently majoriti doktor di thoarcic department adalah doktor laki. Doktor laki MUDA. hehe. hehe. hehe.
Hari ni luckily aisyah dapat tengok operation lobectomy. To be exact, right upper lobe lobectomy. Cool sangat sebab finally dapat tengok operation in endoscopic. Tapi tu aa, 5 jam dalam operation room beb! Dari 930 sampai ke jam 2. And seriously, tempat tu sejukkk. Aisyah sampai menggigil kat dalam!
Tapi operation ni lama jugak sebab ada complication di paru, ada bleeding. Initially team ada 2 doctors, 1 intern and 2 nurses,tapi sebab bleeding jadi 4 doctors (one specialize in microsuturing), 1 intern dan 5 nurses. Masa tu memang nampaklah darah memancut-mancut sampai doctor kena buat open surgery untuk tangani bleeding tu.
Another new experience aisyah dapat hari ni adalah lunchbox dengan pork!
Sebab masih on going surgery, aisyah dengan Janet (intern disana, dan juga orang yang assign untuk aisyah) tak dapat turun ke food corner untuk beli makanan. Instead diorang provide lunchbox untuk kami makan. Nak tolak, rasa serba salah since aisyah dapat keluar dari surgery room pun sebab doktor insist aisyah pergi lunch. Bila bukak lunchbox, haa satu pork besar atas nasi ,sayur dengan pork dan tofu! End up aisyah kasi aisyah nye pieace of pork kat Janet, dan makan nasi tepi-tepi yang tak kena pork tu. Itu pun sebab tak sampai hati nak tolak lunchbox tu. Hopefully kalau termakan Allah maafkan aisyah. Amiinnn.
K la, aisyah akan try update blog from time to time. Maybe some pictures on the place I'm staying. Ohya, just from today ada 2 orang cakap aisyah piau liang! hahaha.
I read my last post, and I was Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? So many grammatical error, English macam rojak. Tapi tak kesaaah lah. Malas nak layan.
So preparation ke Taiwan so far macam bagus. Masih belum cari bakpack nak berjalan ke sana tapi other basic-basic stuff dah beli. Contact person dari sana dah contact dan diorang akan jemput bila sampai ke airport. The other nice thing is Aisyah dah bercontact-contact dengan satu exchange student kat sana nama Tara. A Canadian ( I speakang engrish dengan dia you! haha) Dia dah sampai kat Taiwan dulu , dan dah kasi tips-tips apa barang nak dibawa. So for now, everything seems great.
K lah, for my batchmates Intermed 2007
Happy Holidaay and All the Best for Remedials!! (untuk yang mengambil k)
Cheers!
Aisyah's mumble: I feel like a sinking ship, pulling also other ships with me. Sorry teman :'(
Just came back from Galleriae. Did some last minute shopping before going back to Malaysia tomorrow. Kaki penatttt. I can feel the lactic acid accumulate!
Now now, I'm a proud owner of a baju oka! (erk betul ke ejaan ni?) It's the baju hijau bersih wear before donning the surgery gown. I bought it because I'll be entering cardiovascular surgery department in Taiwan. I'll be seeing a lot of darah percik-percik people! haha.
Actually bringing your own baju bersih is not part of the requirement, but I think in the hospital I'm going , they will wear the short sleeves kind and there is no headscarf (obviously), only the cap-mandi-thingie. The one that I bought is the long sleeves type and the ibu also did a headscarf, which I think is just clever! Truthfully, I'm not sure whether they will allow me to use my own baju bersih, but we see how it goes.
Tapi kan, sebenarnya I don't mind wear the short sleeves one. If in Taiwan do what the Taiwanese do! Bukan sengaja pun, for medical purposes. Buttt, then again I am a muslim first and for all, maka walaupun ada unsur-unsur kesah tak kesah. dikesahkan jugak. I guess when it comes to menutup aurat, masih seperti lalang ikut aja angin mood yang bertiup. haha.
Oke then folks, need to kemas my bag. Asam pedasss menantiku besokkk!!
ohya,
All The Best Intermed 2007 for OSCE !!
Cheers!
Aisyah's mumble: Jealousy and enviousness kills. Self guilt.
Yes yes I'm freaking out. Yer la, I haven't read any materials about minor mental health and counseling (which covers tons of other psychological diseases), haven't memorize the drugs, do not know the pathology laboratory result and now less that 24 hours I'll be taking my osce!
Fuh. Tang tang masa ni rasa lagu Mat Kearney "Breathe in breath out" terkena di hati. haha.
But it is ok.
It is one of those days you have to hold on and hold tight. So pegang kencang kencang aisyah!!!
I wish to be the sun that shines over you, the wind that blows your dark cloudy days, the ground that catches those tears fall from the sky, the twinkling stars in that big heart of yours.
20 June 2010
***
Eh syaitan, makin kuat kau berbisik dekat aku, pi main jauh-jauh lah!
Wah akhirnya dapat balik reinstall printer kat laptop!
Last time when I reformatted my laptop to Windows 7, I cannot reinstall my printer. It's due to operating system compatibility issues.
Tangguh punya tangguh, sampai beberapa bulan guna orang lain punya laptop untuk access printer sendiri. (ps: ain yang baik hati terima kaseh daun keladi! :P)
So to celebrate, I've posted some drawings I drew over the months. Any comments are greatly appreciated!
(Ohyea, I didn't edit any of this drawings. That's why the quality is lousy. You can still see the smudge and the side of the paper. Maaf! If you want to see the drawing in larger image, just click on the drawing itself. Again, sorry for the lousy quality!)
The Modern Days of Medussa
Hema yang baik hati gave the tittle for this drawing. When I drew this drawing, I've never thought of Medussa, but again, when you look at it again, haaa rambut Medussaaa.
The drawing below take a lot of my time. But yet, it doesn't turn the way I want it to look. It still look quite animated. Macam cartoon. Kena practice lagi nih.
"When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray"
***
I love this quote. Hope you guys will think it too :)
"Aisyah, if you're lonely and there is no one else to tell, who do you go to?", a non muslim friend of mine asked.
I paused. Without thinking I said, "I will go to God". She looked at me, and I see, a glimpsed of enviousness.
***
How ironic. Eventhough I said that, yet when I'm having difficulties, when I'm feeling down and lonely, when my head is clouded with so many things -I simply forget about this wonderful thing. Ish ish aisyah.
"Go towards him walking, and He will come to you running"
I just knew about this (yea agak lambat sebenarnya), but now wanted to share 2 videos about the flotilla that had been attack by the Israelis on May 31st.
Definition: Flotilla-A flotilla (from Spanish, meaning a small flota (fleet) of ships, and this from French flotte), or naval flotilla, is a formation of small warships that may be part of a larger fleet.
"Aku rasa ironic baca blog kamu. Kata tak mahu blog, tapi panjang jea tulis post" (lebih kurang macam ni la dia cakap. kan kan Hanafiah?)
Untuk Mr Semat:
Nasib baik aku rasa ko comel sekarang dengan gaya rambut baru ala-ala orang Jepun tu. (Walaupun ko selalu buat bodoh jea bila aku bagitau ko. Cis, saja ja)
Dan fortunately kerana kecomelan itu (wah aku puji Hanafiah niii!!) aku tak sempat nak terasa, tarik muka dengan ko. Kerana percayalah, aku ni sensitip orangnya. Ish ish ish.
So, I hereby say,
I'm back people!!!
Ngeh ngeh ngehhh
Cheers!
ps: dearest readers, Hanafiah is NOT the reason I'm going to blog again. Jay CHou is. *senyum sipu-sipu*
In minutes, I'll be booking my flight ticket to Taiwan!
Nervous!!!
My passport is here beside me, so does the 1 month travel insurance (to check back the dates I've chose) and also a piece of paper with my kakak's credit card details.
I've check the dates again and again (huuuu) and reviewed again my card of acceptance.
I've filled in almost 80% of the booking details.
Everything looks find.
It should, shouldn't it???
Yes yes it should aisyah (sedapkan hati sendiri.haha)
Oke, a mouse just pass infront of me (again). Urgh. Great. -_-"
I also rarely open my YM, active in Facebook or read my friends' blog.
For some reasons, it pains me to blog (and sometimes read other people's blog. yea sungguh apakah kan?) and YM/Facebook doesn't seem as fun as it used to be.
I don't want to write any stupid things on the website above.
To tell you the truth, I haven't get over that 'incidence'. So yes, I still feel bitter, doubtful, betrayal, confused and pessimistic. Forgive and forget doesn't come easy for me. So I'll put up a mask, trying to act as though everything is cool but at the end felt stupid. No wonder people are staying away from me.
I know I'll be missing a lot of gossip2 hangat or updates about my friends, but takpala. Friendship doesn't have to maintain through cyberworld only kan?
But anyway I won't shut my blog. Just incase suddenly I have an urge to rant about absolutely nothing! Or nak syok sendiri. haha
So to my readers out there (which I think berapa kerat je.hoho), thank you for reading this blog and its nice to know someone actually reads my blog yang kehapeh hapeh ni :P
Anyhow, till next time,
Cheers!
:)
P/S: kepada Sudien yang sengal dan gedik, Happy Birthdayy kamu! You're one good fella, no wonder people regard you as their good friend. Ok dah puji, kena belanja yea
I know I don't (at first lah), until I watched this documentary,
Born Into Brothels
"Born into Brothels is a portrait of several unforgettable children who live in the red light district of Calcutta, where their mothers work as prostitutes.
Zana Briski, a New York-based photographer, gives each of the children a camera and teaches them to look at the world with new eyes.
Boleh rasa happy, geram dan sedih bila tengok documentary ni.
And then after 30 minutes of the documentary, you'll start to love these kids and cheer for a happy ending for them.
Dokumentari ni agak slow, tapi kalau ada masa (dan ada mood), cuba la tengok.
Everytime I thought I'm getting closer to Him, I don't.
While I see people around me getting closer and closer, I've become further and further.
And to think I was so eager to learn and become a better muslim in my first year here.
Rebellion stage?
Nope. That's not an excuse. Because I truly believe that even if you are born as a muslim, you still have the tanggungjawab to learn more about our beloved religion and become a better person.
"Just have fun in life aisyah. No need to take things too seriously. Santai aja "
I'm not sure whether it'll last long but I guess I'll just have to live in the moment.
I admit this past few weeks have been emotionally and spiritually tiring.
And it is not entirely because of my studies.
So if I have this time to be happy and positive in life, I think I should just go along with it. Atleast I don't feel any weight bearing me down. I'm contend with myself now (Please emphasize the 'now' part)
If let say tomorrow or the day after that I'll become (again) bitter in life, then let it be. It'll be just another day I have to go through with.
I guess someway or another, not thinking about what others think of me and not compare myself with others, is the best advice I could always give to myself. But of course it is always easier said than done. Afterall, the worst critique, our worst enemy is always our self.
Just the other night I drew this creepy boy holding a lollipop with an empty eyeballs. At the end, I was the one freak out! Siap bayangkan budak laki tu berdiri sebelah katil masa nak tidur :/
Tapi untuk membela diri yang sememangnya penakut, lukisan tu dilukis around midnight yang masa budak rumah semua (i say SEMUA) dah tidur. Takut ooo!
At the end tidur bukak lampu.
Isk isk isk aisyah.
ps: terimakaseh daun keladi cik bedah (dengan gaya Imran) untuk laptop!
ps: stacey and hema dah selesai fast! yahooo! jom parsley bebeh!
Walaupun sudah tidak kurus dan hensem macam hero kampung seperti gambar dibawah,
Dan semakin boroi dan poyot seperti gambar ini,
Kononnya memberi alasan nak beat kebesaran Afdlin Shauqi,
Tapi aisyah rasa takyah la abang.
Tu namanya central obesity, risk factor nak dapat penyakit macam papa akibatnya.
Walaupun dah memegang gelaran bapak orang dan ada potensi masuk zaman mid life crisis,
Tapi tetap membaca comic-comic seperti ini,
Atau beli toys seperti ini,
Which aisyah rasa cool je by the way,
But bak kata Kak Boby (dan kadang-kadang mama),
" Tu ha berhala-berhala abang!"
Tapi kalau boleh kenal orang ini,
Ada opis cool macam ini,
Dan menang award untuk ini,
Ummmm. Oke la kan?
Walaupun papa tak approve first-first,
Dan abang kene lalui some unfortunate events (yang boleh terlayak masuk dalam buku cerita A Series Of Unfortunate Events),
Tapi kalau ada isteri yang understanding lagi cun seiras Duta S07,
Dapat Zulaikha yang comel seperti mak teh dia,
Ada 4 orang adik perempuan yang cun lagi melecun, hot Hot HOT!
Dan mama yang best viva da boom
Urmmm. Oke la kan?
Walaupun abang kena kerja long hours on weekdays, meet people on weekends, juggling so many projects at one time (abang can multitask meh?), rushing to finish work on time, tak cukup tidur on everday basis and hold an important role in PeKomik ,
Sampai kadang-kadang Kak Boby mengadu nak jumpa abang pun susah,
But I guess it's ok.
Because I know (and they know), that you're working hard for the things that you're truly loved and passionate about.
It may be hard and tough at times, tapi takpe..ni kan abang aisyah?
Abang poyot yang "puk puk aisyah" dan pagi-pagi bising "aisyngeeeee! aisyngeeee!" yang tanpa segan silu kentut sekuat-kuatnya dan gelak macam orang terencat akal.
So gerenti can ah!
Ohyea, YAY for a second this!
P/S:
Abang, nanti bila aisyah dah besar dah jadi doctor dah kaya (aminnn), aisyah kasi special price untuk medical treatment abang k?
20% diskaun!
Tapi kalau itu Kak Boby atau Zulaikha atau babybaru, aisyah kasi 90% diskaun.
Hoho
Ohyea, aisyah still tuntut makan kat tempat sushi tu! No mercy!
Kak Vovi, my sister in law posted this conversation between Zulaikha and her in Facebook:
Zulaikha: Ibu biyik mak yang ada kakak. Ada hantu ibu. Ibu: Ish, mana ada. Ibu tak nampak pun Zulaikha: Ada, kakak muka camni (sambil menunduk muka sikit dan mata separuh terbuka) Ibu: Ibu bukak lampu. Hah, takde pun. Zulaikha: Ha..ada tu, kat situ (sambil tunjuk dinding tepi tingkap)
Fulamak.
Later when I asked Kak Boby, she told me it happened in my house around maghrib. Well, this is not the first time.
Zulaikha ada sixth sense?
Ish. Takdak lah! Biasa la anak kecik.
But, for those who participate Earth Hour yesterday, ada nampak benda-benda aneh gelap-gelap?
