Tuesday, August 6, 2013

My very first two

27th of Ramadhan was the day
I pick up my courage and finally asked
What do I expect I asked myself
Maybe some clarity
Or maybe some ketenangan hati

I know it won't go anywhere
A bad prognosis I predicted myself
Yet with my phone tightly on my hand
We started to chat
And thus began my very first of two.

Confession underlying a confession
Make it light make it simple
My heart pounds
As if I ran a marathon run
Oh my oh my oh my I can only say

I stand a chance he finally said
Oh butterflies in my stomach!
But but but and buts
He quickly added
So butterflies flew away
Thus leaving me out alone again

Ahhhhhh it was nice while it lasted

A man with baggage, he truly has one
As big as a mountain I exaggerate more
But what can a girl in love do
To just nodded and to understand
To let him be, to let him be

So my very first two
A confession
And a rejection
In one short bitter sweet night.
A tear or two may had shed
But hey!  How can a story complete without it eyh?

Alas I can finally say
I am no longer a shy Aisyah
I'm true to myself, I'm true to my feelings

Cheer up I will tell you that!
I'm fine I truly am
No need for you to feel hurt
A small prayer for you always and always
For jannah,
I really do hope so

"Jodoh tu Tuhan yg tentukan. Kamu nikmati jer"
 Insha Allah :)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

For patience and perseverance

"Sometimes you'll have a good call, sometime you'll have a bad call"

I heard my friend told me that. A senior houseman.

For the last 2 months, I've been oncall with a senior houseman. You just follow her/his lead. Do your job, and if you don't know, there's always them for you to ask. Kepala tak fening.

But as time passes, you've become the senior houseman in the ward itself. Still a first poster, but a senior in the department standard. You are expected to have already know how to do things. You are expected to be more independent. Boleh buat kerja without much guidance.

You, are now should be incharge, and lead.

Oh the pressure.

Even more when the MOs starts to trust you and kept asking you, and staff nurses loves to tell you regarding patient's condition even though there's other houseman.



Tapi seperti ada seorang pak cik lift cakap kepada saya (after I bising-bising kat my friend in a lift)

"Kenapa nih dik marah-marah pagi-pagi nih? Sabar. Dah nak Ramadhan nih".

And so, Allah given a a menusuk-reminder to me.

I mengeluh more than I bersyukur. Also a reminder I should me more patient. To trust Allah. To betulkan my nawaitu. To have perseverance.

Seek Allah's help with patient perseverance and prayer.
 It is indeed hard except for those who are humble." (2:45)


Allah, please let me be strong.

Smile :)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Newbie Houseman

Ola folks!

It has been awhile. So new updates, I am a houseman in Hospital Ipoh. Currently in the Orthopedic Department.

How is it you may ask?

Oke lahhh so far. I think it's a great exposure for us Indonesian grad. Give time for me to adapt to the system and all. Because seriously I can't picture myself masuk Medical as my first posting.

So ya, us Indonesian grad do have limitattion. Especially regarding the theory part. But it'll be ok if you study. Entering Ortho without having no exposure of Ortho in Koas, I would say, don't worry lah. You just layan with it. But if during your Koas years you've plenty exposure in inserting branulla, CBD and taking blood, then that's a bonus point for you. Because seriously, that skills will apply so much in HO.

Presentation of case is in English, so for those who is weak in the language, make sure you brush up your language, I've been "tegur" once because of my grammatical error (ah the 'is' and "was" makes a wholee lot of difference) and my pronunciation. Not cool.

Other than that, the other senior houseman is super nice and they're really helpful (unless they're in a stress mode la). Ask tons of question if you're not sure of things (yes kena muka tebal) and try to learn things fast. (it's a fast fast world out there).

One thing sure, MUST know your patient. Sometimes when you're oncall, you need to jaga 40 some patients. Make sure you know what's going around the ward. Later MOs or Sps datang, they will ask about this patient lah, that patient lah. If you don't know, kena marah. Hehe. I selalu blur. Not good. But trying to train myself day by day. I'm not a fast learner so, well, slow-slow.

My social life, has it turns out has slowly go down the drain. Ehe! over plak. Well, partly because I'm a away from home and I don't have any other Ugmamer with me (there's one but I'm not that close). So yeah, I'm kindda lonely because I don't have many friends here. SObs, Mula lah berangan nak kahwin cepat (Wooow!). Kidding.

But hikmah masuk Houseman (for someone reluctantly nak jadi doctor), I'm constantly reminded of Allah. Like He is my tukang mengadu. Seriously. (I tak boleh la nak asyik mengadu jer kan kat orang). You try to be happy of the simpler things, be grateful of simpler things too (contoh, if dapat makan lunch, Alhamdullilahhhh). I'm still learning of this game of life (ewah). Never knew it'll be this hard (eventhough sebenarnya takdelah hard mana, Syndorme Anak 2nd Last). But life never been this interesting.

I rindu usrah. That I must admit. Those things that happen in Yogya, I wish it'll never happen, but it happen. As much as I hope that kakak usrah will one day contact me and acknowledge what she'd done to me, well, I think it'll never happen ( I wrote a lengthy message to her. But sadly no reply. A bit disappointing really. Maybe my issue is not that important . And, I could never hear her side of her story pun).

But another kakak from Kedah has been really helpful. My sometimes tukang mengadu person. You won't feel bad if you've made mistakes, because she'd done that too. She'll explain as though she's really bad when she first start, so you won't feel you're much of a loser too (cuz you pun baru start). Another is a Kakak senior yang dah jadi Mo. She's very inspiring. So yeah, even though, I tak dapat attention that other kakak (attention seeker alert!), I dapat feel another ukhuwah with another person. So yeah, ok jer.

But tu lah, saya rindu usrah, Saya rindu ukhuwah. How can I say I constantly envious for those who can get to know more of Allah, more of my religion. But that contstant fear, the fear that you'll be dissapointed again, is just too overwhelming, But I try to take a leap of faith, and I ask a friend of mine if she knows any kakak usrah in Ipoh, because seriously, my life is not just about a being a doctor. It's about being a Muslim. Satu hari nanti, "aku akan kembali kepadaNya". Yer dak? oke dah mengarut. Huuu. Will see, will see.

I guess ni lah jer la update I can give you guys. Even sambungan pergi Hatyai tak dapat nak buat. I even when to Australia during my hols, tuh pun tak dapat update. Later lah if ada masa.

So guys, please pray for me! For patience and perserverance insha allah (and to finally jumpa my jodoh? *twink*)

Adios! :)

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Are we that weak?

I was reading 2 articles about what party to chose in this coming election.

One is pro-government

Another is pro-opposition.

The pro-opposition, like in their slogan, basically wants "UBAH". A better government, govern by a corruption free party. They're sick of it, one may say.

Whereas pro-government, talks mainly about contribution of Dr M and jeopardizing our hak istimewa orang Bumiputera. And even being a Muslim in Malaysia. A sense of loyalty and grateful can be seen to the current government.

But what dwells me most, is the pro-government articles where I sense the fear of Malay to the DAP. The not so secret of the hak istimewa orang Bumiputera issue.

Now, I want to add to others articles circulating in the net regarding unfairness in scholarship distribution.

I've studied in a daily school. And Alhamdulliah, in my SPM exams, I got straight As (to be exact 7A13A2). In my school (if I'm not mistaken) only 17 people got straight A's with only 3 with straight A1. They are the non bumi.

Now, in my high school years, I'm close with an Indian boy. I consider him as my best bud. We were closed partly because he mixed around with the Malays. Truthfully, during those days, I didn't mixed enough with the non-Malays. A transparent barrier called language may be the reason.

He's a smart and hardworking person, who you'll definitely enjoy an intellectual conversation with. Smarter than me truthfully. Those days, if I want to call him at his home, he won't let me.

"Mak saya tak suka orang Melayu call", he'll said


"Ala, orang dulu, you know, Melayu India punya hal"

I just kept quite. That conversation as it turns out, stuck in my head for years.

In SPM he scored just like me. Straight As (I'm not sure the breakdown), but unlike me he didn't get a scholarship. So does the other 2 straight A1 student. Whereas the rest of us, Malays, got into our chosen universities.

I took medicine, half heartedly. He, wants it badly. I got in, he doesn't. At the end, he took STPM, then into a private college to study nursing.

My relationship with him, just went downfall. I tried to keep in touch with me, but it feels different. He changed. Cold.

So through out my meds life, I've constantly thought of him. I may not be in touch with him, but I'll make sure  I'm updated with his life (thank you FB!)

Talk about fairness.

But still, sometimes I wonder whether my scholarship was given because I perform in school, or because I'm a Malay.

Truthfully, I'm confused on what to believe.

Part of me, the Malay part, feels that I need to uphold the keistimewaan because that is what our Malay forefathers fight for. If it weren't for it, most Malays may not succeed now. Are we ungrateful for what they have fight for us? I need to jaga my bangsa, bangsa Melayu.

But a part of feels, are we that shallow? Are we that weak that we need to rely heavily on this? Are we that afraid to compete with other races?  A part of being a Malay we are, first and fore most a Muslim. One of the greatest civilization is born from here. Are we really really that weakkk?!

When I went to Singapore and Australia, I am amazed by they're public transportation system. And not just that. Their professionalism too ( Orang kerja buruh kat Australia sana semua mat salleh. Kat building site ka, kat transportation sector ka. All made in Australia gituh). And if you asked my friends, one of my most kept sentence said to her in Australia and Singapore was "Malaysia pun boleh buat macam nih, Malaysia pun boleh buat macam ni. Sapa kata kita tak boleh?".

When I got myself a data of initial GDP of 3 countries: Malaysia, Singapore and South Korea (all of this country had their independence near to each other) to the current GDP (year 2012), I am shocked. For a country who had the highest inital GDP out of the 3 countries, we were left far behind from the otherr 2 countries. Dimana silap? Kita ada sources. Siapa kata kita tak ada. Mana silap?

And that's why, I feel why some chose PKR. They want the change. Ubah.

But yet, are we Malays will be jeopardize if the opposition wins? Can we survive if our comfort sit be remove? Are we Malays afraid of DAP? Of the Chinese? Will muslims in Malaysia be jeopardize too?

My question to you and to myself: Are we Malay that weak?

Sunday, April 21, 2013

HatYai, Thailand Trip (Part 2)

 So on the second day, is a jalan-jalan day.

We went breakfast at a Muslim restaurant called Rocky Muslim Restaurant. There, we asked about Municipal Park and Floating Market when the owner offered to bring us there by van for only 1000 baht (RM100). Malas to fikir banyak, we said ok. Later on, since another group of Malaysian joined us, the price lowered to 800baht/2 person. If you want a nicer ride (which I think our van is just fine), you can rent a taxi or ask a travel agency to arrange it

 The trip was around 1pm. With 4 hours to spare, we went for mosque hunting.

We walked, and walked to the north side of the city for 1 hour with only the city map as our guide.

We got lost.

Then it started to rain. Really really heavily. Luckily, we were near a musholla/Muslim Hatyai Association centre. We run there, and rest for a good 40 minutes. You know how when an unexpected event happens (may it be because of nature or human error), and you can't do anything about it, but to just enjoy it? Well, this is one of it. Layann.
On our way to mosque-hunting when we've been attack.

Men with guns. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Motorbike biking.

Thailand's king. His Highness pictures were everywhere. I thing maybe our PM were inspired by him lah.

Musholla/Hatyai Muslim Association Centre.

Chillex-ing, waiting for rain to stop.
When it's near 1pm, we decided to leave and continue our search for the mosque. A helpful Muslim Thai help us, and within minutes, we were there. We took some pictures, and headed back (we didn't go inside, since many guys were there for Jumaat prayer).

As we walked back, we heard the call of prayer. Loud and clear.

"Allahu akbar, Allaaaaahu akbarr!"

It was still drizzling.  Lailah and I looked at each other, and just smile. Smile.

mosque hunting

Masjid Jama'

Sooooo off we go. We were joined with a family of 5 from Langkawi. Friendly bunch of folks.

First, we went to Ice Dome. For 300 baht, you can enjoy (and feel) a cold ice sculptured exhibition inside. Not really our thing, we just waited outside.

Then to Chang Puak Camp. It is an activity camp which has elephant riding, archery and ATV rides. Lailah chose elephant rides (500 baht for 30 minutes) whereas I chose to try Indian archery (150 baht for 10 arrows). The highlight for me there, was feeding the elephants. No elephant's snot are too big for me to handle. Hehe.

Then, we went to Buddha and Guan Yin temple. Located at a hill, it gives you an amazing view of Hatyai City. Well worth it. There's also a cable car there for 400 baht. We chose to walk between the Buddha and Guan Yin temple. Along the trek, you can find other statues, though it's not well maintain compared to the ones in the temple.
Thais pouring water to Buddha statues

At outside Ice Dome Park

Chang Puak Camp

elephant riding

Hasil archery saya!

Buddha temple

people praying.


View of Hatyai City


Mari ber-trek ke bawah!

Guan Yin temple. See the Buddha statue? That is how far you have to come dowm from Buddha temple to here.

Statue on the way to Guan Yin temple
 So the last pit stop, is the Floating Market.

It is an attempted floating market like in Bangkok. They sell food from their sampan, which is kinda cool for someone who haven't experience that. Food price range between 20-50baht and sellers were mostly Muslims. My favourite is definitely their drinks. Instead of plastic or paper container, they use a designer clay thingie. The have a varieties of food to chose. So don't worry, and just eat.

Makan Lailah makan,

Buah shaped dessert



Dinner. Yang last, ice cream kelapa dalam clay pot tak ambil gambar.

Then we headed back.

The city  was jammed pack with people. Traffic was crazy. Water was everywhere. It was Songkran Eve anyways.

When we arrived, Lailah chose to call it a day. I on the other hand, headed to the muay thai ring -again.

I will say this. There's something about watching live muay thai fights . The shirtless oily fighters, their pre-dancing ritual, those high kick ass kicks, the live instrumental music, the "hooo! hoo! hoo!" cheers from the crowds..ahhhh..I was glued there. Never did I thought I will enjoy such painful 'sport'.

And, that was the end of our 2nd day Alhamdullilah.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Hatyai, Thailand Trip (Part 1)


So my friend and I decided to go for a weekend budget getaway.

We chose Hatyai in southern Thailand because it is accessible by train. We booked our train 3 days prior our departure. At first, I tried to book it online, but after 3 times of unsuccessful transactions, I just gave up and went to KL Central to buy our tickets.

After more research on Hatyai, I found out the date we chose falls on Songkran Festival, Thailand's New Year or famously known as the Water Festival. I just thought, "Cantek lah!".

We meet up at KL Central. And by 9.30pm we boarded the train.

We chose the sleepers seat. Which btw, the main reason why we wanted to take the train. Ehe! It was surprisingly very comfortable. There's a clean pillow, a thin sheets act as blanket and a small long curtain which easily turns your seat into a personal private space. Our neighbors were made of a group of Indonesian Chinese seniors, another group of Kl-ites ( whose sole purpose is to participate in the Songkran Festival) and a Mat Salleh couple, who seems confused to be trap with a bunch of noisy makers.

Tickets. Never lose it. They'll checked twice in the whole 12 hour journey
Loving it!
Lailah and her space.
How the place looks like.
I will say, I absolutely love my bunk/upper berth private section. Even more, was the sound of the moving train. It sounded like a lullaby! Tidoq habis la kami.

We reached at Padang Besar, Perlis around 930am for our immigration process. Unlike Johor-Singapore immigration, here they do things the simpler way. One building, 2 immigration office, side to side. It took us less than 30 minutes to go through both immigration.

After finished, we rest for awhile at the only food stalls there. Usually there will be a gap of 30 minutes before continue boarding the train to Thailand. So yes, no rush if you want to eat there. That 30 minutes is actually used to release some of the train coaches. From 7 coaches, only 2 coaches will enter Thailand. A rule made by the Thailand governmen
Morning. Lepak di luar.

At Padang Besar, Perlis after the immigration process.

Passenger waiting the train to Hatyai
When we reached, we took a tuk-tuk to the city center. There'll be plenty of tuk-tuk drivers, so no worries for transportation. Paid 20 baht and off we go. But after I stayed there for awhile, did I realized the city center is actually walk-able from the train station, only a 20-30 minutes of walk. If say, you're like to walk lah.

We drop at Lee Garden Plaza Hotel (which supposedly to be in the middle of city center), and start to find a place to stay. Beside Lailah and I, we were with another 2 guys, who we made friends during our train-break-time. So the 4 us wander from one hotel to another. Now, the thing is most of the hotels we went were fully booked on the eve of Songkran. We then decided to go to a travel agency (which is plenty there) and asked them to help us find a less than 1000 baht per night hotel. Maka, Rado Hotel jadinya!

Rado Hotel if I may say, is perfect for us. It is at the city center, cheap (1st night 550 baht, 2nd night on Songkran eve 1200 baht-which is around RM125/2 nights, and it should be cheaper on non-festive season), have the basic necessities (clean room, tv, fridge, fresh towels everyday) and because it doesn't provide with breakfast (another factor why it's cheap) is just perfect for us!

So yeah, eventhough it's such a gamble to go there without prior booking (esp on a festive season), I guess we were lucky. I do not recommend it for others though, since we met a family who had to stay outskirt from the city because they couldn't find a room. But on a non-festive day, go ahead, and just find a hotel there.

Beds. A bit hard actually. Layan.

Clean bathroom, except for the constant 'blop' sound from the toilet
We rest for awhile, and meet up with the guys for lunch. Muslims restaurants are everywhere around Hatyai city center, so a yay yay for us!

After that, we went our separate ways, the guys wanted to go to Municipal Park, whereas Lailah and I opt for walking around City Center. The city is busily preparing for Songkran festival, so you can see tents and stages are putting up, waterguns are sell everywhere (from small to big guns), roads aew block from vehicles, and big blue water reservoir are at every corner of the streets.

Lunch. Tom yam!

Water supplies are everywhere


Songkran festival
We took our time at Suntisuk markets (which has a Sungai Wang vibe to it), and then afterwards aThai Massage at the Graden Plaza Hotel. For 36 baht (around RM36), we had our 2 hours session.

It was my first Thai massage. It went something like this: "press, press, press, hold, bend my limb in an awkward position, hold, press, press, press, hold". It was oke larh, for a first time experience.

Simple clean bed.
Looks a bit creepy. For a moment, I thought I'm in a brothel. Wahaha!

Lailah who's the one excited with the massage.
By the time we finished, it was Maghrib. Hawker food are everywhere, and most of it were Muslim sellers. So again, no problem in finding food. Oh btw, some Thai Malay Muslims can't speak Malay so start with English, if he/she replied in Malay, then continue with Malay.

Sotong kering

I chose pulut mangga!
Eventhough it is not yet Songkran (not even the eve!), lots of people already start to play with waterguns. They have no mercy, attacking whoever passes by, even those watergun-less (like us!). Beside that, they'll put scented white water powder mix to you, preferably your face.

So a a bit of history. Songkran is the Thai's New Year. So during this time, people will pour water on Buddha statues/images for a prosperous year. Throwing of water to people on other hand, originated as "  way to pay respect to people. By capturing the water after it had been poured over the Buddhas for cleansing and then using this "blessed" water to give good fortune to elders and family by gently pouring it on the shoulder" (wikipedia) .On other words, bringing good luck.

Isi peluru dulu

Watch your back!

A small Buddla Statue for people to pour water on it.
We walk, and walk. Got ourselves wet. Eat, and walk again.

Otw back to our hotel, we saw a fighting ring in the middle of a road junction. To be specific, a muay thai fighting ring. So we hang out there for awhile, and watched a muay thai fight. A first timer, I watched it with aww. Lalat definitely boleh masuk mulut.

Muay Thai!
So yeah, a good Alhamdullilah first day.