Thursday, November 12, 2009

post

Salam,

Aisyah akhirnya delete the last post. Kenapa? Sebab aisyah rasa akan ada orang pikir "Eeii tolong la aisyah tu. Dia ingat dia ni siapa nak di layan special treatment ke bila berkawan? Pastu nak timbul ayat ukhuwah.Ceit!" Hehe. Kidding! I should know better la kan?

Truthfully, reason mendeletekan sebab rasa post tu terlalu emo. I never wanted my blog to be 'Blog rakaman setiap kali si Aisyah beremo', no no I would definetly do not want that, do I? I do by the way blame it to my crazy unbalance hormones, cik estrogen and cik progesteron (sory kaum adam, you could never use this excuse :P)

But seriously, I do think I hurt a few people along the way. And for that I apologize :( It was never meant to offend anyone. Cuma masa tu terlayan lebih sangat emosi, dan biasala bila layan sangat perasaan yang terbuku di hati..haaa kau! satu post emo yang panjang dah ditulis!

But all the things I said were true, and all the feelings I felt were real. Aisyah tahu tidak semua muslim baik dan tidak semua non muslim jahat. Dan aisyah sendiri tidak mahu meng generalize kan semua. I myself don't think it's fair. But as i said before, i had the confusion (and sometimes am now) and just don't have anyone to go to. Aisyah sendiri dah make peace with myself, cuma bila terkena, terkenang lah. The wound runs to deep that it's just too difficult to ignore.

Tapi aisyah tahu, Allah itu adil. And that I greatly belieave. And who knows maybe one day, Allah permudahkan jalan aisyah ke arahNya, and once again aisyah merasakan kemanisan ukhuwah itu :)

P/S: Bila didekat, terasa tersisih. Diam dan cuba lagi. Bila terkena lagi, sakit di hati. Akhirnya mensisihkan diri, melindungkan diri. Hakikatnya, tiada sesiapa pun mau mensisihkan diri tanpa bersebab. Bukan setiap hari kita bangun dengan perasaan mahu berjuang. Tapi atleast kita cuba.

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