flashback

**Attention! This is a loooong entry!**

flashback..

It is the year 2006

I open my eyes. My room is dark except for a tiny light coming from the kitchen.Ecah, my roomate is fast asleep. Her back is facing me. I can see her white earphones hanging from her ears.

She's always does that, listen to her walk-man before going to sleep. Sometimes, if I'm lucky we'll talk until both of us fall asleep. I stared at her for awhile. I wish she's awake.

The room is fairly quiet apart from the sound of our standing fan turning.

I closed my eyes again.

"Kalau Aisyah tak boleh tidur, baca surah Al Ikhlas 3 kali. Nanti insyaAllah boleh tidur", I remembered my mum's advice.

I start to recite the surah, and pray that Allah will make it easy for me to sleep.


flashback..

It is the year 1999

I open my eyes. Shoot! Not again. I look at the watch, it is 2am.

I started to feel scared. It has been like this for awhile; me, waking up in the middle of the night for no reason.

I closed my eyes again, and force myself to sleep. I kept telling myself that it is morning in another country, so I'm not the only one awake -I'm not alone. But all I could think of is somebody something is watching me.

I pulled my blanket high, covering my legs, afraid that maybe syaitan will pull me if he sees my bare feet.

"Cikin, bangun la. Akak tak boleh tidur. Teman la akak"

I shaked her body, desperate for her to wake up. She shove me off, utter some words of "Tidur je la akak" or "Alaa akak nieee!". Then she fell asleep again. Easy.

I wish papa is here. He'll make me warm milk and wait beside me until I fell asleep.

I make no attempt to wake her up again. I got myself closer to her, so that my body is touching her body, so when she breathe I can hear her breathe and when she's making a slight movement, I can feel her body moving.

I let my mind wander, finding comfort of my own imagination.

And I wait, for the azan subuh to be called.


flashback..

It is the year 1994

Aisyah terbangun lagi. Sebelah kanan aisyah katil mama dan papa, dan sebelah kiri aisyah, Cikin tengah peluk bantal peluk dia.

Mama dan papa dah tidur. Syikin pun dah tidur. Kenapa papa tak mendengkur? Sunyi sangat bilik, aisyah tak suka. Aisyah tak suka. Aisyah tak suka.

Haa, bunyi kereta lalu! Aisyah suka.Tapi, nanti sunyi balik. Bunyi jam bilik je dengar.

Tik..tik..tik..tik

Tiba-tiba aisyah terdengar bunyi tu. Bunyi yang selalu buat aisyah sejuk-sejuk badan. Bunyi motor lalu terowong. Perlahan-lahan bunyi enjin semakin hilang. Macam orang tu finally meninggalkan dunia ni. Tiba-tiba teringatkan conversation aisyah dengan Kak Yana masa balik Pahang dulu.

"Kak Yana, nanti kita kat akhirat buat apa?" aisyah tanya sambil duduk di tangga di rumah Mak Jah.

"Nanti lepas kita dihisab, kalau kita banyak pahala kita masuk syurga", Kak Yana anak Mak Jah beritahu aisyah.

"Oh..masuk syurga. Berapa lama kita kat syurga?"

"Selama-lamanya lah"

"Selama-lamanya? Lepas tu?"

"Urm. Lepas tu?"

"Takde ending ke?"

"Urm. Kalau Allah nak tamatkan, Allah tamatkan lah kot. Diakan Maha Berkuasa"

"Lepas tu kita langsung dah takde ke?"

"Umm. Ye la kot"

Waktu tu petang. Langit dah kuning-kuning. Mak Jah dah mula tutup tingkap rumah, taknak nyamuk masuk rumah.

Aisyah tarik lagi selimut. Cepat la pagi..


current..

Year 2010

"Orang tak faham kenapa aisyah susah nak tidur. Kalau bagi orang, bukak buku microb, baca 3 pages mesti nak tidur. Takyah pill tidur"

Aisyah gelak. It's true, sometimes I am like you. After few pages of Kumar and Clark, all I want to do is tidur.

But teman, I don't wish you to understand me.


It's not easy for me to fall asleep. It's been like this for as long as I could remember. Otak dan badan rasa letih selepas tidur. Macam tak tidur satu malam.

But rest assure, aisyah tak setiaaaaaaap hari seperti itu. I do have days when I don't have problem to sleep. Kadang-kadang tidur sampai orang lain pun susah nak kejutkan!

It is just that on certain days, on a difficult days, I simply couldn't fall asleep. My mind keep on thinking and wandering until it cannot slow off.

Woan Shing once taught me to mediatate. She says,

"Aisyah, you thought tidur, tidur, tidur later you will tidur. I did this to myself"

Tapi..ni requires strong determination. So aisyah tak pernah berjaya. he he he

Stacey pulak pernah kata,

"Aisyah, try crying. Later you will feel tired so you will fall asleep easily".

Well this does works occasionally, tapi takkan nak menangis setiap kali tak boleh tidur??? Nanti pergi campus, orang tanya kenapa mata lebam (putus dengan boyfriend ke cik adik?? hoho!)

Sometimes, those who knows my predicament will offer advices to overcome this. Terharu kekadang. Thank you :)

Sleeping pills only came into picture last year. I didn't sleep for the whole 2 nights until both my hands start to tremble, I felt feverish and my eyes felt hot. Pokoknya I was damn miserable. So my housemates bought me the pills. Then, the pills are always there inside my kotak obat just in case.

I am not addicted to the pills if any of you guys thought of that! The longest I've taken it so far is only 3 nights. I love my 'hati' more than this ya.

Anywaaay, this is not a post to kasihankan aisyah. (tolonglah!)

I only intend to share what I feel. It is very depressing and very miserable when one cannot sleep. Your body feel very tired, but your mind never show sign to rest. So you keep on thinking of the most ridiculous and absurd things.

Bah!

Once, I read an article about everyone will have insomnia atleast once in their life time. So you know what I mean kan?

*wink wink*


I may not wish you to understand me, but atleast can you be here beside me?

145cm

My last day at Puskesmas Nanggulan, so saja-saja amik height measurement.

Last time measured: 150cm
Pagi tadi measured (pada jam 10.43am) : 145 cm!!!!!

Mana mungkin aisyah semakin pendek!!! And it's not even petang untuk cakap aisyah's intervertebra disc semakin kehilangan air !!! 5cm kurang weii!!!

Cis! grrr

terkejut badak

glen hansard: say it to me now

Do you know the feeling when somebody told you something, and it completely took you off guard?

You terkejut badak sebentar (kenapa badak dan bukan gajah?) and wonder how he/she could come out with that idea.

Ntah kenapa, it happened to me yesterday night.

@_@

coldplay: fix you

I had a great head start of the day today, berjogging dengan Yon di Graha Saba~!

Dengan jasa baik Iffa's scooter, we went there quite late around 6.20am. By the time we reached there, a lot of people; tua muda, laki atau perempuan yang hensem mahupun tidak hensem, tengah berjogging.

Sebenarnya agak segan lah nak berjogging, sebab ni first time ke sini nak jogging. Lagi-lagi kami yang terang-terang ada low stamina (aisyah lah, Yon tak taw la plak)

But, when we saw a clear view of Graha Saba and Gunung Merapi together, dengan morning sunray menyelusuri pokok-pokok disana..pergh subhanallah canteeek! Times like this you remind yourself, you could never get enough of God's wondrous creation.

I guess pleasurable things do comes in simplicity.

Anyway, untuk Yon, maaflah aku ada loud exhalation masa kita jog. Mesti ko cuak kan? He he. Pabila orang takdak stamina berjogging la kan. But nanti kapan-kapan, kalau ko nak jogging tapi takdak teman..bilang kat aku. InsyaAllah aku kata "Bring it ooon!!"

So wonderful Saturday comes, a perfect day to be lazy!

Homework cuma ada satu, assignment from lab pathology anatomy. That, can wait. Because aisyah finally got a hold of Sherlock Holmes buku cite!!

Last time when we had our kononnya "mini book club discussion" Nia, Hui Min and Farah Nasyitah always talk highly of this book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. So I evidently intrigued by it.

Apa aisyah punya review sekarang ? Up until the pages I'm reading right now, I'll say they're probably right! The stories (since the stories mostly per cases) kept giving me pleasant surprises! And I kept on marvelled by the writer's witty way of telling the stories. The language plak kept reminding me of books from Frances Hodgson Burnett-aisyah's favourite author. Weeee~

Anyway, later tengahari we're going to visit Wee Pang. The poor guy got himself dengue hemorrhagic fever when he went back Malaysia for CNY. So now he terlantar kat hospital :(

On the lighter note (cewah, bunyi macam canggih je ayat ni :P), aisyah and Stacey going to makan Special Sambal for lunch! That means ada terung goreng!!! Ha ha. Sorry la, tapi I'm a sucker for SS terung goreng. Heee.

Oke, before I end today's entry, nak share a sketch I made of entah someone. Dah lama tak melukis ingatkan dah berkarat, buuuut I think I still have it. He he he.

pre anat exam lukisan :P

IV phobia

india arie: get it together

Aisyah is currently afraid of intravenous injection now.

Ever since she donated her blood last year, she seem to develop some fear of any procedure that requires her blood to be taken intravenously.

But because she wants to meet Jay Chou sooo badly in Taiwan, she unwillingly had to take antiHb and Hb antigen test. In other words, IV injection was needed.-_- (well I guess, apa sahaja untuk cinta~)

During the procedure:
a) she got cold sweats
b) she notice she was holding her breath when the ibu injects the needle

After the procedure:
a) both of her hands gone pale
b) her left tangan shows symptoms of brachial plexus injury, weakness, functionless etc etc

Well, you could not blame for a girl who almost pingsan after donating her blood and lay emotionless the whole night at Hui min's place ek?

Oke, sebenarnya aisyah rasa sangat pathetic.

Say No to IV!!! Hahahahhahahahaha!

hajaray dah 22!

Dear Hajaray,
(yang lagi masam lagi tengik)

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY teman!
15 FEBRUARY 1988

It's almost 10 years since I've known you Hajaray, and let me tell ya..awak dah stuck being friends with me! Whether you like it or not, takdak jalan keluar dah! Ha ha ha. :P

Sorry that we cannot celebrate your birthdays for this last 3 years. But tak kesahlah, we have the rest 20 years or so to celebrate together k?

So kite, like any 20 some year old girls, wish that you will CEPAT KAHWIN and since our biological clock is ticking fast, semoga cepat dapat BANYAK ANAK yeaa. He he. Kidding!

I wish only that Allah will grant you great patience and happiness to you and your family, in this life and the hereafter. And may you be a good doctor dan dapat bukak stall ABC tu. Aaaamiiiiin.

:)

ps: Hajaray, do take a picture in front of D'Lourve Museum k! Pastu nanti awak boleh konon-konon eksyen cari Mary Magdelene's tomb. He he he.

"They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them
but then eternity to forget them"

Really?

happy happy joy joy!

Aisyah is jumping with joy!

It's because of this!

Harry Potter based theme park: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens officially this coming March! Weeeee!

Aisyah dah tunggu since 2005, so sekarang macam excited plak! Aisyah ingat lagi talking excitedly about this with Hajar when we first heard the news. Masing-masing bersemangat nak pergi kesana satu hari nanti :)

So for now, I think I'll continue berangan minum Butterbeer at Honeydukes atau stroll kat Hogsmeade atau main Quidditch atau konon-konon pakai robe,pegang wand and say accio nimbus 2000!

Fuh, mintak-mintak satu hari nanti boleh jejak kat sana. haha.

new piano teacher

wo de kuai le

Aisyah got herself a new piano teacher today.

Her previous piano teacher finished his studies (ex mahasiswa UNY) and now back in his kampung tercinta. Unfortunately for her, she didn't even get to say goodbye to him.

Well, it was her fault anyway. Ponteng last week class because "ada acara sama teman" when the truth is she was having a manga marathon (it was a good manga ya by the way)

So after much korek-korek data from his new teacher, this is what she founds out about him:

Name: Mas Dandang
Mahasiswa Universitas Negeri Yogyakarta, sem ke 3, minor in violin
Working expierence: Teaching anak SD
From Wonosari, Yogyakarta now leaving somewhere near Bantul
Kehenseman: Biasa jer laa

So the whole 1 hour went well. He was patient when she made the same mistakes again and again. Laughed when she starts to talk gibberish . Clapped when she finished play a simple song and at least he doesn't have any cigarette smell lingers around him.

So basically it was a good 1 hour..

then she founds out his age is 19 years old!

Ceit! Terasa ke tua-an diri sendiri. But no complaint. Despite being older than him, he still gives tons of homework. -_-